I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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