I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
