And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
