Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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