i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize