you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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