i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
