we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
