her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
