It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
