let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
