I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
