There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
