Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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