Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
