omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just pee around me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
