well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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