they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
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I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
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It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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