He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
