Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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