just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
