super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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