We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
