I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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