I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
