The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
