I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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