yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
