He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
