So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
