sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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