everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
