You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Green mimosas i think yes
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
