You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
two words: eviction party
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
