YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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