I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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