In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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