And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That accounts for only three of the penises
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
