she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
