it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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