He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
