There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
