Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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