Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
And then he peed in my hair
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