Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
