I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
