I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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