i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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