Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
