he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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