its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
