I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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