i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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