So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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