Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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