so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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