There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
