i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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