If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
